Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize