i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
