i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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