I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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