Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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