if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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