I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
