Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
