just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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