Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
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