At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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