You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
