i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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