I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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