Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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