If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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