gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Randomize