What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
