dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
