..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
