Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
