If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
