Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
