There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
