I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize