But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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