Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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