That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
