that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
