i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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