She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize