respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
