i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
