Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
