at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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