ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
