I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Soap is not a condiment
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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