is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize