If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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