Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
