physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
