Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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