He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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