Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
