My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
