I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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