I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
