I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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