Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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