He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the liver wants what the liver wants
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
