Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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