similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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