She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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