Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's always time for handjobs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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