I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
