Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize