I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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