i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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