do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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