If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
