He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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