i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
