I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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