i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize