they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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