so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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