I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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