So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
