I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
