your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
