somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
