I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize