What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Enjoy the penises
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
