I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize