I think im going to throw up on grandma
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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