On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
