There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
