To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
