Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
